


Justification of Senior Staff Notices

by VampirePaladin



Category: The Orville (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-21 11:01:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14283486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VampirePaladin/pseuds/VampirePaladin
Summary: The senior staff of the Orville haven't exactly been using the notices the way that they are supposed to be used.





	Justification of Senior Staff Notices

**Author's Note:**

  * For [badger79](https://archiveofourown.org/users/badger79/gifts).



_01012419 Notice from the Chief of Security_

_At the beginning of the new year Security would like to remind everyone that it is not a human tradition to smuggle contraband on board the ship no matter what anyone in the senior staff might tell you._

_14022419 Notice from the Chief Medical Officer_

_This is a general reminder from the Chief Medical Officer to be regularly screened for STDs if engaging in cross-species sexual encounters._

_Additional: No, I don’t want to hear the details._

_Additional 2: I’m not going to tell you the intimate details of my sex life either._

_01042419 Notice from the Senior Helmsman  
01001001 00100000 01100001 01101101 00100000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01101001 01101110 01100110 01100101 01110010 01101001 01101111 01110010 00100000 01101000 01110101 01101101 01100001 01101110 00101110 00100000 01001001 01110011 01100001 01100001 01100011 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110011 00100000 01100010 01100101 01110100 01110100 01100101 01110010 00100000 01110000 01110010 01100001 01101110 01101011 01110011 00101110_

_02042419 Notice from the Senior Helmsman_

_Isaac, what did you do to my April Fool’s Day post?_

_03042419 Notice from the Chief Science Officer_

_Lieutenant Malloy, is this not the human tradition of “pranking” a coworker when they leave their station unattended with an unfinished notice in progress?_

_04042419 Notice from the Senior Helmsman_

_01000110 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00101110 00100000 01000001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01001001 00100111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01100001 01101100 01110111 01100001 01111001 01110011 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 01100100 00100000 01001010 01101111 01101000 01101110 00100000 01001100 01100001 01001101 01100001 01110010 01110010 00101110_

_06042419 Notice from the First Officer_

_Reminder to all senior staff: The crew notifications are to be used for important information to be passed on to the crew._

_07042419 Notice from the Chief of Security_

_This is a reminder that it is against Union regulations to magnetize a crewmember and attach them to the hull exterior and to replace a crew man’s brain with that of a mutated chimpanzee. Refrain from both activities pursuant of Article 643 Subsection C of the Union Code of Conduct for Officers._

_08042419 Notice from the Captain_

_Wait, people having their brains swapped with mutated chimpanzee brains happens often enough that it is addressed in the Cod of Conduction?_

_Additional: Code of Conduct_

_09042419 Notice from the Chief Engineer_

_Oh yeah, stuff like that happens all the time to the flagship. I’d say about once a week they are encountering a new anomaly, a strange new species, or something else. They are a statistical aberration._

_10042419 Notice from the First Officer_

_Really guys? I just posted a notice about this four days ago._

_03062419 Notice from the Chief of Security_

_It is considered inappropriate behavior to play funeral music every time a member of security is sent on an away mission. Security personnel are no more or less likely to die on a mission than personnel in any department._

_28112419 Notice from the Chief of Security_

_Armed guards will be posted around the turkeys at all hours to ensure that they are not tampered with chemically. While not against regulations, it is requested that you do not inject your turkey with a bioengineered reanimation virus and then force it to battle other reanimated turkeys for “gym badges”._

It was New Year’s Eve and Alara was stuck working in her office instead of being out partying with the rest of the crew on the station at which they were docked at. She’d rather be anywhere, with anybody, doing anything else than in here and working on these papers.

Alara sat back at her desk as she read over a fraction of the highlighted messages from the crew notifications throughout the past year. Normally, no one cared about the notifications outside of those on board the ship, but a recent dump of the logs, scans and other information when docked had led to the notifications catching somebody’s notice. Now, everyone that had the ability to make a notification had to go through every posting they had made throughout the year and justify it. Trying to remember the reason behind every notice wasn’t always easy, even with access to her logs, and some of them just sounded weird even though there was a valid reason for most of them at the time.

She rubbed her eyes as she checked the time. She’d been at this for hours and was at the end of November, she didn’t have much left at all. Deciding it would be a good time for a break, Alara got up from her chair and walked out of her office, making her way to the ship’s galley. It was late, but there was a gaggle of people clustered together in a corner. It was the most of the other senior staff members.

After stopping to get a hard drink, Alara made her way over to the others.

“Do you mind if I join you guys?” Alara asked as she looked at the group, sitting around a group of tables that had been pushed together. Alara thought that the tables had been bolted to the floor, but considering who was here, that wouldn't be a hard obstacle to surmount.

“Go ahead, we’re working on our justifications for the notices,” said Ed.

Alara looked around at all of the others gathered around the tables. John was apologizing for adding something onto one of Gordon’s notices, she thought it was one written in binary. Kelly was furiously working out her reasons for calling the others out for their abuse of the notices in the notices. Claire looked like she was just about done with the whole thing. Ed was biting his lip as he would write something, pause, delete, then rewrite. Isaac had already finished and instead sat asking questions in a logically amused voice. There was only one person missing from the group.

The chirping noise that indicated a new notice from the senior staff rang out from all the screens in the galley. Alara frowned as she looked around, seeing confused looks on everybody’s face except for Isaac’s. Almost every person that could make a notice was already here. She turned toward the screen as the new notice appeared in orange letters.

_31122419 Notice from the Second Officer_

_Never gonna give you up_  
_Never gonna let you down_  
_Never gonna run around and desert you_  
_Never gonna make you cry_  
_Never gonna say goodbye_  
_Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you_

“Uh, is something wrong with Bortus?” Alara asked.

“Did Bortus just rick roll the entire ship?” Kelly asked.

“What is a rick roll?” Isaac asked.

“A rick roll is an old Earth prank where you trick someone into listening to the song Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley,” Gordan said, showing off his knowledge of old Earth history and culture.

The door to the galley opened and in stepped Lieutenant Commander Bortus. His expression was as serious as it normally was as he marched up to the group.

“Permission to join?” Bortus asked.

“Come on,” Kelly said, “we’re working on our justifications too.”

Alara worked hard to contain a smile. Working on these justifications on New Year’s Eve wasn’t what she’d been planning on doing, but the people she was doing it with were the people that she wanted to spend the evening with, and hopefully, many other evenings in the future. 

As Gordon and John pressed Bortus for why he’d do something like rick rolling the ship, Alara already knew the real justification for his actions:


End file.
